One day I woke out from the wrong side of the bad, with what seems like an easy and harmless day turned out to be difficult and annoying. It all started with a few bad phone calls and my life start turning upside down in order to make other people’s life easy (that’s the objective, though it’s not necessary to work towards that direction).
Then I decide to face these problems with courage rather than sulk on them, thus started to tackle them one by one. Then I realize before I finish solving one problem, another two popup. Thus pressure is built up, until some big trigger push me into the pit of hopelessness, thus causing me to rethink should I continue to pursue what I am pursuing now.
When everything seems too difficult and hopeless, it’s already time to go home and have some rest (perhaps it’s a good idea). Driving home with such despair, I ponder how I should continue with my life. I was hoping someone would be at home for me to show my tiredness and perhaps rant a bit. I was kinda disappointed to find no one was around when I reach home. Luckily my parents and uncle return soon, and then we get to chit chat a bit.
The chit chat can sure do miracle, not to find a solution, but to release it all out and seeking the experience of others. If you ask me what had I concluded from the conversation? Nothing. Nothing is concluded or achieved, but I just felt relieved and ready to move on with life. I felt alive again and no longer in despair. I am ready for tomorrow and able to sleep tonight. It reinforce the importance of having someone at home when I get back, thus it is called a home, not a house.
When I work up the next morning, the vicious cycle started again … until one day when I get used to it, or I give up on it.