All about her, again

It is about her, a girl which I met a few years ago, gone through a lot of heart warming moment together and miraculously one day, she become my girlfriend, and eventually land up as the love of my life.

She may not be the most pretty or the smartest on planet earth, but she is special, very special. When I am near her, I felt very calm, and I just enjoy the every moment I spent with her. If possible, there is nothing more I wish to do, besides spending more time with her from times to time. Somehow or rather, she had become more and more significant part of my life, a part which I cannot live without. All these happen in a slow and silent manner, without me realizing it in the beginning.

Usually she would come to seek my advice regarding things about work, about her emotion and thoughts. Although I am the mentor, but deep inside me, I feel that I am the person who needs her more. She is my silent teacher, and she is the support for my spirit. She could help me in so many ways, for just being around me. She is much stronger and had more talent than she think. Somehow, I might be more dependent on her, in many small ways.

There are many pretty girls in this world, which could easily catch my attention. But the thought which came to my mind is: no matter how pretty or attractive they are, they are not really important to me. They are not special to me, I don’t really need them, and I certainly don’t depend on them, and most of all, I don’t think of spending the rest of my life with them. They are just pretty faces which are pleasant to the eye, but I love someone who is comforting to my soul. Someone I care very much about, someone whom I try to give my best for her, and someone which I am very afraid to loose.

Someone used to ask me the question did I really love someone. I found “love” is very hard to define, especially about its closeness to “like” and having good feelings. Somehow, I think I am very much in love with her for sure, for the very first time in my life. It is the first time that I am spiritually so dependent on someone, that I am so afraid of loosing her, and I want to do my best for her and I want to be with her for a long long time. If it more that just heart pounding or hormone rushing, I had her engraved in my heart. I am still not sure what love is really all about, but she is definitely someone very special and important to me.

I love her very much :)

PS: Only if I can give her more, but I am trying to straighten my life and not to screw it up, so that I can offer a more comfortable future for both of us.