Sorry, my friend :(

I believe I made quite a few mistakes in my life, some I am fully aware of, some I am ignorance of and some, I really don’t know. Though I try to be a good person, but I did have my selfish and emotional moment. Sadly, I can still make mistakes and did something bad (or not so nice).

I think most people want to be a good person: Honest, Trustworthy, Loyal, etc. Too many good attributes to keep track of, and too easy for some not so good attributes to creep in as well. I think I just want to be able to sleep at night, so I try my best to maintain that. Sadly, it isn't perfect either.

Do I believe love in first sight? There might be some good feelings, but not necessary equal love. Is it wrong to choose the right candidate as your potential love one? Logically it is like job hunting, send out more letters and attend a few interviews to find out which company is more suitable for me. Sometimes go for big corporation, sometimes go for good working environment, and sometimes go for passion. This might sound logical, but it might not be “openly” accepted, though I am sure many would try that. Again, I believe Love is achieved through Trial & Error. Does love need to be built up? Yes, it does not fall from sky. Opportunities might fall from sky, but relationship needs to build. Yes, it takes years to build and 1 day to destroy it. Is it alright to reject a love? There is no right way to do this, all ways are wrong.

Human is a complicated being, what you see is not what you get. A lot of time people will hide away their true feelings and behavior, so can’t expect anyone to be an open book. After sometimes, if we are observant enough we will find out what is good or what is bad. Sometimes it might be too late. Though I am not a very good character reader at first, but I do know who the culprit is and who is a friend, eventually. Sometimes, keeping a secret or telling a secret is harder? I think telling a secret is harder.

Misunderstanding is what I fear most (only to people I care of), though some of it is my own doing. Can’t make people love us, can’t stop people hate us as well. Some people do carry some weight it my heart, and it’s sad that some relationship had to abruptly end in such “unfriendly” state. Probably I said something or do something wrong (which I conveniently forgotten, or didn’t mean it), but deep inside I know I didn’t meant it and you are still a good friend in my heart; no matter what I had said or done.

Ego wise, I would give myself excuse that I had done the right thing; but for every right decision, there is a hidden wrong. Opening our heart could be a scary thing to do, but I don't think closing it would be any better as well. No matter what, life is full with a lot of surprises and lessons. No matter what, I just want to say

“Sorry my friend, for what ever I had done to hurt you”