Monday, July 21, 2008

Phases in Life

I guess in life we would have to go through different cycles, as changes will happen and adjustment had to be made.

When I am a baby, there is absolutely nothing to worry about except food and mommy. During primary school, I wanted to grow up faster so that I can be an adult. Secondary is about fun, friends and exams. College finally realizing what I would like to do, though I had hoped that I would have a more fun-filled university life. Then working life is good, get to meet really nice colleagues and explore new interest and hobby such as hiking and dancing, and found myself a really nice girlfriend. Entrepreneuring is really good, as I get to make a living based on my ideal and choose a lifestyle which I wanted.

Lately I realized something, time might be running out to usher me to the next phase. I could just step in, or utilized the remaining time to do all that hasn’t been done yet.

Yes, I am nearing 30, the ideal age for marriage and starting a family. What I am more worry about is the responsibility of having children of my own. One thing a parent must do is to make sacrifices for the good of the children. I always had thought, “If you don’t have time to raise a children, why bothered to have one.” Then someone told me if you think too much, you wouldn’t have done anything. Making sacrifices for our life partner is one thing, but to take care of a new life created by us and totally dependent on us is really HUGE!

Perhaps I am still at a “selfish” stage, where I still think a lot about me and what am I going to do with my life: my career, my hobby, my travel, my lifestyle, my happiness and my girlfriend. There is yet so much to do, yet having a child would put an end to so many things. A child is totally depending on me, and my actions and thoughts would have so much impact on his or her life. This is really a very huge responsibility and many sacrifices have to be made in order to fulfill those responsibilities. I cannot let myself to be unhappy because I can’t travel the world, because the child need diaper changing and milk and care and love. It’s a whole new level of thoughts adjustment and priority rearrangement of life, the child should be the love of our life. I cannot just throw the child to my parents and just play with them up during the weekend, though it is convenient. If I am to change the stereotype of a working parent with children, there is even more needed to be planned and done.

The thought is really overwhelming to me at this stage. Perhaps we could have children around 35, but I would think the generation gap is too huge. Perhaps shouldn’t have any children? It sounded convenient, but I am not sure it is a good choice. Why do we want to have children in the first place? I haven’t really figured this part out yet. The problem with the modern generation is that we really think too much. The lost the wisdom and simplicity of earlier generations.

Perhaps it is really about one step at a time, rather that not making any step. When is good timing? Perhaps there is really no perfect timing, just move on with the flow of life and not halting. I don't believe it's a "just do it" mentallity, we have to prepare for it in one way or another. Though we can't control, but we shouldn't just let go as well.

1 comment:

meiru said...

People say children are the ones who complete a family. With the children's laughter, we can forget all the pressure and unhappy things at the work place. They make thing worth while.

I guess with the children, we can understand our parents more, we can learn how to take up the real responsibilities - of taking care of the life of another human being, then we ourselves will be more complete as well.