Yesterday I watched the ending of 星愿 (Fly Me to Polaris) on TV, which I found quite a good one with nice music (only if I know what songs it is). Richie Ren (任賢齊) who acted as Onion Head (洋葱头）says this to Autumn (秋男 acted by Cecelia Cheung - 张柏芝) after he was back from death with 5 more days to live, "岁月匆匆流走， 我要今生无悔 (Time Flies, I want to live life with no regrets)". This got me thinking again, what do I need to do now so that I can live life with no regrets (at lest no big ones).
What do I want to do with my life? When I was young, I thought probably I would one day getting married and form a family, and live happily ever after with my love ones. When I grow up, somehow or rather, I wanted success (and richness as well), thus I become more career minded and work hard. As times passed, I found that employment sucks because you end up working for stupid people. Thus, I aspired to start my own business so that I can have the freedom to innovate, and hopefully make a living out of it. After too long focusing on career and work, somehow I found all the money in the world would be meaningless if I don't have someone to share it with. Thus, I need a balanced life, a life with decent work and healthy relationship.
I guess the purpose of our life keep changing, or is it all these are just short term goals and I am missing the big picture? For Christian, I think the purpose is to believe in God and serve him, and salvation. For Taoist (I went for this Taoist group thingy and have something interesting to share in my next blog), it seems like they want to achieve Tao (得道，修道), meaning to be a better person and understand their inner soul. If I have no religion or follow any specific teachings, what is my greater course then?
I gave it quite some thought, and perhaps I could really see that far. I have some clue of my current short term career goal, which is to start a software business. Besides career, what other short term goals do I have? Do I want to get married, or do I plan to get married? In terms of career, I seem to know quite well what I want to do, plan for it and execute the plan. In terms of life outside out work, I seem to leave it to fate. Meaning, I can't plan for marriage if I don't meet Miss Right. But, shouldn't I put more effort in looking for Miss Right as I put effort for my work? Or meeting Miss Right is all about faith (缘). How true is the saying "爱情可愿不可求, 随缘吧!" (love could be hoped for, but not forced for, it's up to fate)? It is pretty hard for me to get the real answer for this, as the most logical answer would be "fate only does half the job, the rest is up to us". Can we really plan it? Perhaps, if we are desperate enough, we could start hitting on every girl (I notice someone do that recently, and he is not doing very well) which came along or go for speed dating or cupid club. Is this the kind of planning I am looking for? Err, perhaps I am not desperate enough.
Perhaps it is not so much on the issue of planning, but what I want to achieve in life? For myself only, I want to be successful (get out from the rat race) and have a free and easy life, and capable of taking care of people around me. Of cause I want happiness as well, but that is so difficult to define. For the greater cause, I want to help build a better tomorrow for mankind. How am I going to do that? I have no idea. Perhaps I could start by working with The Skill Academy to help the children, as they are after all, the leaders of tomorrow.
Perhaps it is okay for us not to know our greater course now, as life is after all a journey and exploration. We would understand more and self realisation will happen sooner or later. While we are learning, just be good, love and appreciate the people around us.
"The eye is a distraction, with vision comes greed. If you can close your eye for a moment and feel the person beside you, perhaps you could feel the real her and understand yourself better". by Onion Head (洋葱头）in Fly Me to Polaris (星愿).