I have been on hyper tension mood for the past weeks, suddenly now I felt calm, for just this moment. Perhaps I reach some kind of self realisation state under all mess which had been fucking my mind. I have no idea what I realise, but I just feel calm, and I am gonna take my time to savour this moment and blog about it.
I wonder if I have been tension about work or relationship, or perhaps both. If I were 5 years ago, I wouldn’t bother with relationship in such a critical stage of my venture into new business. My thought at that time was financial success should always come first, and then only I would have a strong foundation for love to blossom (solid financial is the foundation for happiness). I guess somehow I am a different person today, no longer an extremist or an idealist. Like once the richest man Aristotle Onasis once said, “All the money in this world would be meaningless without women” (and his wives played some big part in squandering his wealth off). Anyway, there are always many challenges along the way in our life, and many dreams to be chased; how many times can we put relationship on hold. Besides, relationship is meant to go through thick and thin; she should be able to withstand some thunderstorm with me along the way. No very meaningful to have a relationship when there are only glories to be claimed on calm water. Like a good friend once said, “Relationship are meant for us to grow together”, perhaps to learn to help each other to walk with the same pace; no one is supposed to be better than the other, as we are equal in the sense that we needed each other.
Valentine is just 1 hour and 55 minutes away, a day which I would like to ignore. Actually I am not a Christian, and Valentine should not be significant, but I guess marketing and advertisement had done a great job to brainwash all of us. Kenny got a soft-core magazine as part of his birthday present, and I am in list “lucky buddy” list to share the goodies with. Oh Man! I feel so sad, as I am getting a soft-core magazine for Valentine. “Take your time to really choose someone you truly like, love and lust after!” is his reply to me. Lust after is easy to accomplish, like is quite common but love is the big question that shall not be answered, perhaps only understood one day. All hope is not lost, though there is no love for Valentine, but at least I got a PARTY!!! Yes, a party, and hopefully a good one. Tang was invited to this Bachelor Party thingy, and she offered her invitation to me. Though I should keep some distance, but the temptation of having a party on Valentine is too great to resist. Perhaps with too much tension up my neck, I had to find a venue to release myself (let the beast within roar!).
Kenny told me there is no such thing as a close friendship within male and female; as we tend to like them thus we are close with them. Is it all about sex and love relationship? I once agree with him, but now I found the exception. I guess it is possible to be close with a girl, have lots of fun with her and yet didn’t fall in love with her in the end. It did cross my mind once; I guess I understand the relationship between us better and made a conclusion out of it. She was once a girl I like, but an unlikely girl I would love today.
I am really too serious perhaps, it is okay to have fun and be nice to people I like after all. Life is too short to do too many stupid things. Once a friendship can be so open and enjoyable without too many “emotional politics” within. I miss those days, those people and those happiness; even though I don’t have anyone.
If Valentine Day has to come, let it come, Bring it On! Happy Valentines :)