Saturday, August 27, 2005

Why marrying a teacher is a good idea

Sometimes I wonder why married couple have kids when the husband and wife are working full time and don’t have enough time to raise the kids properly. What do these couples usually do? They usually left the kids with a babysitter or child care centre in the morning before they leave the house, and pick the child up again at night. Some left their child with their parents or grandparents, and visit them during the weekend. Basically, the parents are not there for the child during the child's growing, learning and exploration period. They don't spent enough time with the child to watch them grow, teach them new things or just to love and care for them. Won't the child feel neglected and the parents end up with little or no memory of their children's childhood? The parents are missing so much at the present, for the sake of the family's future.

I told the above opinion to Khim, and her reply was, "How should it be done then? Should the wife just stay at home to look after the kids? It is not fair. How about money? Nowadays both husband and wife need to work to sustain a decent living in the city. Should working couples not have kids then?” She is right in a certain ways. Nowadays, not many women would like to be a housewife to take care of the kids at home. They want to be somewhat independent. If everyone agrees with my opinion, then all working couples should not have any kids then.

What is the solution to this problem? Money. If you have sufficient money, probably you could spend less time working and more time with the family and children (theoretically, given that you are not obsessed with your work and appreciate your family life). But, not everyone have the amount of money required. A fulltime housewife may prove to be a challenge in modern day city living as well. We still need to have a job and socialise with more people, for the sake of self improvement and to have a fulfilling life. My theory is, we need a part-time (half day) mom which is knowledgeable and still pretty much in contact with the society, and have time for the children. It is not necessary for a woman to take this role (though it usually is), either one of the husband or wife will suffice. Given this criteria, I think a teacher fit this profile pretty well.

What is the benefit of have a teacher as your lifetime partner?

  • They only work half day (either in the morning or the afternoon), thus they should have at least half of the day for the kids and family.
  • They are still working, thus bringing in supporting income to the family. Not only that, they shall be able to have their own career (rather than being a full time housewife/houseman) and achieving some sort of self improvement. Constant active contact with the society and workforce is another important factor here. We need modern working parents which still have time for their children.
  • They should be good with kids, and be able to educate them well.
  • They are familiar with the education system and school environment, thus having a better understanding of the children's curriculums, syllabus, homeworks, exams, difficulties, pressures and alike
  • Teacher have access to free reference books or books discounts, which is an added bonus :)

Being a teacher should be more advantageous to the children, but is does suffer some downfalls as well. Teacher does have pride, and they would expect their children to do well in school. It would certainly look bad on them if the teacher's sons or daughters are not one of the elite students in school. Thus, the child might felt the pressure rather than enjoying the advantages. For the mother (I will use the word "mother", which could mean either the "mother" or "father" who is a teacher) and the child to be in the same school has its pros and cons. The good thing is the child will have a private driver to attend school and various school activities, and the mother will take care of every aspect of the child's school life. The bad side is the child would have less freedom (mommy knows what have you done in school), under more pressure to perform and might be teased by other the bad students (especially if the mom punished them before, or they might not dare to bully you, it depends).

Anyway, I still think it is good to marry a teacher (or be a teacher myself), for the sake of the children. If my wife (if I ever get married that is) and I do not have sufficient time to spend with the children, then I would prefer not to have any. I don't want my children to be left alone or to be taken care by someone else (this is not raising a child, probably it is even worst than raising a pet). I want to grow up with them, be with them and teach them. I don't want to have kids for the sake of having kids, I want to take care of them and spent time with them.

My mom is a teacher, and my dad work in a bank (he is busy most of the day, and only comes home after 7 at night). My mom takes care of me of most of them time, and I enjoyed most of the perks mentioned above. She did some home schooling with me during my early childhood which I hated a lot, since I am forced to study with her for a few hours after school. Now I sort of appreciate her effort as it does bring some significant advantage to me in my life, until now. Probably I don't feel the pressure from her because I am the top of the school, and I only felt the pressure from myself (once you are on the top, you don't feel like coming down). There are a few teachers' children in the same school as me, and they had outstanding academic achievement as well. One big downfall is lack of privacy and freedom, as big mommy is always watching. She will know if you somehow screw-up in school or had a new girlfriend. News does travel fast to her ears, absolutely no escape.

I feel that she raised me well, thus I felt having a mommy teacher is a good thing.


meiru said...

Hmm..your mom has done a great job then.

Some research says that people tend to find a partner who's like their parents (provided their parents are good ones). Probably it's quite true :)

christine said...

Wish you can find a teacher as your wife!Thus, you should pat attention and look around. Haha, let me give you some suggestion, e.g. spending more time to walk around the school area, waiting outside the main entrance of schools, quiting your IT counsultant and working in school and so on. Remember to expand your opportunity to reach teachers, then your dream will come true! ^.^Good luck!