Perhaps I know the fact that we can’t actually make everyone happy quite a while ago, but sometimes I just forget about it. Recently I found that I put too much effort in trying to please people around me, where I found it being more and more difficult. Once you please someone, you bound to displease another person, and the chain reaction goes on and on. The worst is you can’t even please the person you wanted to please, and the result is totally the opposite as you expected.
Somehow during a conversation with Tang, I started to realize again I couldn’t please everyone around me. Even pleasing one person beside me is challenging enough. Sometimes I am tempted to put my heart on one person, but it would make me vulnerable as I am ready to give more and accept more. Maybe I am used to being selfish all these while, as I only need care for myself. So trying to adapt for another person in my life do require lots of adjustment to be made.
I think I wanna take a vacation from trying to make other people happy. It had been quite a while, and I have not been doing a very good job at it. I think I wanna lay back a bit, and think for myself again, do something for myself. While attending Aslam’s wedding, Yong ask me what I wanna do when I resigned. I tell her of my plan not to look for job and take life easy for a while. She told me not many people can have such luxury, and I tell her I am using up my Marriage Modal (老婆本). I said, “If I can’t use the money to make the one I love happy, I shall use it to make myself happy” and we both laugh in agreement with my statement.