Sunday, October 30, 2005

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Recently I picked up "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" from Borders, as I have been wanting to read it but didn't quite have the time. I keep this book in my bag all the time, so I have the time to read in between, especially after breakfast.

Basically, this is a good book and must read for all couples (especially when you feel that you don't understand your partner and feel disappointed with them). It sort of tells the different working of mind between men (Martians) and women (Venusians). Though I haven't read the entire book, below is some quick preview of the essence of the book (I always feel that the essence of a book lies within the 1st quarter, the rest is just reinforcement of the idea).

I hope I manage to get it right, as I am shuffling my memory and I don't have the book by my side. Basically, a man is a problem solver. When a woman talked about her problems with a man, she was actually looking for a listener for her to discharge her emotion. To a man, he thought she was seeking a solution from him, thus trying to give her advice and suggestion. The man's action will be interpreted as "not listening", as he is more into solving her problem rather than listening. When woman complaint their problem, they just need a listener, not a problem solver. At the same time, woman like to offer unsolicited advise to man, which is interpreted as "nagging" or "complaint". Saying things like "I think you should do this and that" is not appreciated, unless the man specifically asks for advice. If a man don't ask for it, any advice of good intention (woman have a natural tendency to make their man a better person, thus giving unsolicited advice) will be misinterpreted as hostile or untrustful complaints. Women handle their unhappiness by talking with others, while men stay away for some quiet time during hardship. So man must respect her needs to talk, while women must understand his need to be alone and let him go off for a while. There are many other subtle ideas and behaviour, but the main idea is here.

The book is a good read and quite an eye opener. Don't be lazy and get one for yourself. We do need to understand our differences and learn to talk each other's languages.


cancelthisacct said...

Hmmm, read it quite sometime ago. Many repeating points. Lots of common sense.

cyber-red said...

its a stupid boring book =P

Mich said...

u still want to read? i got a this book, "why men lie and women cry?"


d_luaz said...

Can be considered, I still have one more last chapter to do ;)