Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I am the Sacrificial Lamb

Today is the second time Miss Evil stood up a date on me in the last minute, 2 times is a really bad omen. First time it just supposed to be a quick dinner movie at rush weekend, where I have to go there early to pick up the tickets as it is quite a crowded weekend (booking is simply not possible). She stood me up only when I called her at the last minute. Maybe it is unintentional or for whatever good reason, it is still a disappointment and leaves a very bad impression. I found that I no longer have the capacity to hold grouch and be angry with someone for a long time. Most probably the bad feelings will be long gone before the end of the day, I am not very sure whether this would be a good thing.

Today is a public holiday, where I have the perfect plan for a good date. We shall go out early to have breakfast at Kim Gary (I hope they open early), and do some early ice skating on the cooling ice with less crowds around. Then I made lunch reservation at Dave’s (not Dave Deli), a nice Italian restaurant with modern deco. I finally finished her long owed Christmas present, a present made with Hearts (I don’t mean love shape here). I booked a comedy Hong Kong movie at 3 plus, using some very effective movie booking tips taught by Chim. I left the rest of the night unplanned, as she might not have the entire day with me. Perhaps some Tiramisu for dinner, as lunch usually would be quite heavy and a light and delicious dinner would be just nice for the girl. Sounds like a good date to me, as I had not made so much preparation for a date before.

Anyway, all the plans are screwed up totally. Why? Because I am chosen as the sacrificial lamb for her family. I might understand her reasons behind it, though I might not agree with her ways of handling this situation. She could reject a date, but stood up at the very last minute with ample time for consideration before that? There seems to be some element of immaturity and fickle minded here. Anyway, a promise is broken, and the reason is I am being sacrificed. Both don’t sound pleasing to me, as her answer to me leads to disappointment. Not because the date got cancelled, but because the reason behind it and the way that the decision is made. I felt that I can’t let go of the frustration if I don’t write this out. It is that deep and tormenting. Even for a friend stage at the current moment, it is still too much of a blow. Promises are significant, and it shall not be broken for whatever good reason you have behind it (at least, not at the very last moment).

I forgive her in the sense that we are friends, and we have some happy times together and spoiling it out of frustration would be just meaningless. But disappointment will still be there and won’t go away easily, as scar had already been created in the relationship. As in the ball game, three strikes and you are out. If the third disappointment did happened, I think I might problem even treating her as a close friend. I think I shall stop dating her in the near future. I always thought that we have the freedom, and she had the maturity and strength, and I was wrong for both assumptions. No point blaming others, as we have to be responsible for our own action and its consequences. For what ever that happens, it is out own doing after all.

PS: Since I am damn free today, I shall start working on the Present of Hearts Project (again, no love shapes is involved here) for those close and significant to me


christine said...

ai ya......i can understand how your feel frustrated! Hey Des, you should try your best to prepare another good dating with that gal again. Add oil! Wish to hear your good news in the next time!

d_luaz said...

TQ for the encouragement. I shall c how it goes la :)