I think there is a Chinese believe that the spirit of the death shall returned to their loves ones on the 7th night after their death. It is not that I am thinking of death, but the idea of thinking what I shall do if I die and returned is very intriguing.
What would I do and who would I look for? I think I would first look for mom and dad, and I am sure they would be extremely sad. I would try to use my hand to whip their tears, and whisper into ears gently that I am all right and don’t worry about me anymore. I think I might even cry seeing them. Then I will look for my sister, to tell her I am fine and to ask her to take good care of mom and dad, and hope that she had a happy life ahead of her. I would then look for my brother, to ask him to let go of the past and be more open hearted, to forgive mom and dad as they had done nothing wrong, and hope that he would find the love of his life and to be a better man. No matter how I had been “not so good” to my family, I truly believe they shall be the first and the last in my life. I love you all :)
Sometimes if a question is asked from a different angle, I myself am surprised on how such a difficult answer could be derived such easily. Besides my family, whom would I visit? For some reasons, Wynn seems to be in the picture. Maybe she is a very nice person to be with, with such care from her and ease. I would probably get a message from Ah Siang and pass it to her, and may she be strong and happy.
I believed our eyes are clouded when we are alive, and opened clearly when we are dead. If we would think as a ghost, we would realise clearly what we wanted in life, and what would be significant to us (you don’t have to die to do this, just close your eyes and imagine). Somehow Dori came into my mind, though I couldn’t quite logicalised why. A lot of times, simple reasoning seems inadequate to explain things, or at least I don’t know how to put them in words. Asking why seems so helpless, as I have really no answer, except just feelings. But how dependable are feelings? Is it all we have, an answer where out spirit is trying to tell us through chemical reaction is our body? Some feelings changed overtime, while some remain the same throughout the years. I guess as things around us changed, so have we. Only time will tell. I guess I shall drop her favourite doll for her, freshly made from hell (I hope I don't scare her).
PS: If I ever died, could my close friend let my family know the existence of this blog, as their memory of me.
PS: I am not thinking of death :) So, dont worry.